Crushed

Tonight I feel like talking about stress. Why do people feel stressed out? What's stress to begin with? I personally feel stressed when I have no where to run to, when I feel trapped, when I feel like everything is against me. When I can just cry out of no reason.

Stress begins when we have lots of expectation in our minds, and things start to go wrong when they just don't follow or meet our expectations. 

But again, how do we define stress? Or the state of being in stress?

Say for example if we go back to physics, stress is equivalent to force being applied to a surface. This external force can be from many sources, and they are not necessarily harmful to ourselves. Some forces or stresses are necessary to keep us moving and fighting for our goals. Stress is needed to keep us alive. However, how much stress is required to keep us sane? It's a tricky question depending on the tolerance level our body can take. In fact, stress does not just works in physics; in biology, it's even more interesting!

Our bodies react in an amazing way towards stress, which involves a lot of chemicals, hormones, and our nervous system is really at work. Our bodies are very smart to resist the stress, but sometimes, stress takes over and win control over our system. This may result in some health problems, such as depression, weight gain, reproductive issues and sleep problems. 

There are a lot of things that we can do to manage stress. In simpler terms, we need to know how to deal with stress because eventually we live with stress. Once we learn and able to live with stress, we grow stronger and become more resilient to forces that create uneasiness in our lives. Few things that we can try: 

1) meditate. I find this very helpful as prayers bring me closer to the Creator, especially when I read Quran. I always feel special when I read Quran, thinking that the words are letters from Him to me. It's always soothing and it reminds me that no matter how ugly it turns out, I always have Allah with me. 

2) exercise. I love the feeling of sweats on my skin, it feels amazing. The happy hormones (is it endorphine?) kick in and they really make me feel good. The rush of blood to my whole body and brain is so necessary to help me think wiser. 

3) writing. I love writing about my feelings and ideas. Writing a post is an achievement to me. My words are alive, they are proofs of my productivity. At the same time, I can transform something invisible to visible. When I write, I can see my ideas, which most of the time turns into vision. I can remember things that I wrote in this blog. And even after few years, when I read my old posts, I can immediately reconnect to the emotions captured in each word. It's beyond my ability to explain these, but I think you understand the 'magic' behind writing. 

4) something yummy. I used to eat ice cream when I felt stress, but this habit is no longer 'valid' because I'm turning into a foodie these days, so I just eat whatever whenever. 

5) fulfilling my 'social' quota. I really enjoy spending time with my friends or colleagues. I have this 'social' battery that needs be charged on daily basis. It helps me to deviate from my problems and on my lucky days, when I hang out with the right person, I am able to let out the negativity in me. Discussing my situation with the right person helps me to analyze myself from different perspectives as they would offer wise inputs.

6) contributing to others. This might sound selfish, but I would use this medium to channel out negativity from me. (Because a doctor once told me that we must help because people need help. If we help to make us feel good, then that's selfish). Being selfless and putting others before me help to realize the 'bigger project' Allah has set for me. Bigger role of me? Indeed, it is also our rezeki that Allah has chosen us to help others. Noting all these downs allows me to understand that life is not just about myself and I slowly learn about my inner self. I usually focus on my family first, and will find other opportunities to help in community. 

7) me time. Last but not least, I would want to emphasize on how crucial me time is. Life can get very demanding and often time, we feel exhausted. Me time is a perfect allocation for me to put myself first, without having to worry about life goals and expectations, or even the things to do list. And one thing I recently learned, me time does not have to be you spending time alone. I can still spend time with my loved ones, but on one condition, they have to do things that I wanna do. As selfish as it may sound, this is my way of keeping sane. Since I am the biggest investment I've ever made, hell yeah I will be selfish :) 

I think that's all for now. Actually, I just made 'one post per month' as one of my 2019 goals. So, I believe this is a good start. 

Cheers, 

Husna