raya 2013: of tears and laughters
Raya is no longer about food and new clothes for me. After celebrating raya in the States, I learned that takbir on the first day of syawal wasn't supposed to make us cry. It's a day to glorify Allah's power that has given us the strength to go through the special month of Ramadhan. To fast, to do thousands of good deeds, to help the needy and to sacrifice a lot of duniawi pleasures.
As soon as I came back home for good, it was one month to Ramadhan 2012. My Ramadhan routine totally changed as I had to babysit my nephews and niece during that time. Even so, I was very happy to be able to fast with mom and my family, and it was a huge blessing. We went to Taraweeh together and enjoyed iftar-ing with the rest of the family members. Living with mom is never easy, but I get to learn things the hard way. Mom never said 'good job' or praised her daughters but I never feel upset about that, because I too, believe that nobody can do things as perfect as she does. Really. She nags a lot and she gets upset very easily these days but I know I cannot complain. Thinking about those days when I had troubled her with school stuffs, and other stupid things, I shall not complain about her fussiness.
And I know, one day, I will miss her nagging and advices. As much as I miss abah now, I will miss her too and I don't want to take things for granted. Whenever I have the chance to please her, I will try my best to do so because this is my only chance. I may not be the best daughter, but I want to give my all, for the sake of my mother. Every time I call her, I will surely ask for her doa, because I know that her doa is priceless. For this one reason, I feel that my raya is more meaningful if I can make her happy.
Raya day one is always full of tears because we will say doa, wishes and ask forgiveness from the bottom of our heart. We will cry like little babies (seriously!) and say anything that we want to each other. It's a beautiful moment that is filled with love and blessings. It's a shame that we only do this during raya, but hey, we really treasure this kind of rare moment.
Raya also makes me realize how my mother, sisters, brothers, nephews and niece matter to me. How important their presence is in my humble life. They are the precious ones. My precious. It's not a smooth sail with them, honestly, but the adventure is really worth it. They have taught me so much about love, sacrifice and patience. About giving and receiving. About forgiving and accepting people's flaw. About moving on. I realize that no matter how far I can go in this world, my heart still belongs to these precious ones. (Alhamdulillah, for this wonderful opportunity that helps me becoming a better person)
The classic raya tradition, visiting relatives is also my favourite. Having a big family, we need to visit a lot of houses. All the grandparents, the aunties and uncles. Even so, I can see the beauty behind this tradition. They get older, and though I feel like I'm running out of time, I want to get to know them. I want to shake their hands and tell them, 'I'm your grand daughter. Please make doa for me'. I want them to know that I really appreciate them even though we never had a real conversation. This is actually one thing that abah always emphasized before, respecting the elders. I always saw him treating them with love, care and 'barakah'. (I really do miss him. Sob sob). I really wish that selagi mana saya hidup, I will remember everything that abah and emak taught me, insyaAllah.
Raya is such a beautiful blessing. And Ramadhan too. Ramadhan is more personal, like you ask forgiveness from God, trying to 'clean' ourselves from the bad thoughts and evil; whereas, Syawal is special month where you have the ticket to visit people for 30 days. You ask forgiveness from people around you, as if this will be a new beginning. I'm just glad that through thick and thin, I am able to sit down and write it all here in this blog. Expressing my thought, my gratefulness to Allah (and hopefully, you'll do the same) and sharing with people my meaning of raya. I'm just glad that I've finally reached this stage at the age of 23, hehe. Thank You Allah, for everything. Everything. Everything.
Love.
As soon as I came back home for good, it was one month to Ramadhan 2012. My Ramadhan routine totally changed as I had to babysit my nephews and niece during that time. Even so, I was very happy to be able to fast with mom and my family, and it was a huge blessing. We went to Taraweeh together and enjoyed iftar-ing with the rest of the family members. Living with mom is never easy, but I get to learn things the hard way. Mom never said 'good job' or praised her daughters but I never feel upset about that, because I too, believe that nobody can do things as perfect as she does. Really. She nags a lot and she gets upset very easily these days but I know I cannot complain. Thinking about those days when I had troubled her with school stuffs, and other stupid things, I shall not complain about her fussiness.
And I know, one day, I will miss her nagging and advices. As much as I miss abah now, I will miss her too and I don't want to take things for granted. Whenever I have the chance to please her, I will try my best to do so because this is my only chance. I may not be the best daughter, but I want to give my all, for the sake of my mother. Every time I call her, I will surely ask for her doa, because I know that her doa is priceless. For this one reason, I feel that my raya is more meaningful if I can make her happy.
Raya day one is always full of tears because we will say doa, wishes and ask forgiveness from the bottom of our heart. We will cry like little babies (seriously!) and say anything that we want to each other. It's a beautiful moment that is filled with love and blessings. It's a shame that we only do this during raya, but hey, we really treasure this kind of rare moment.
Raya also makes me realize how my mother, sisters, brothers, nephews and niece matter to me. How important their presence is in my humble life. They are the precious ones. My precious. It's not a smooth sail with them, honestly, but the adventure is really worth it. They have taught me so much about love, sacrifice and patience. About giving and receiving. About forgiving and accepting people's flaw. About moving on. I realize that no matter how far I can go in this world, my heart still belongs to these precious ones. (Alhamdulillah, for this wonderful opportunity that helps me becoming a better person)
The classic raya tradition, visiting relatives is also my favourite. Having a big family, we need to visit a lot of houses. All the grandparents, the aunties and uncles. Even so, I can see the beauty behind this tradition. They get older, and though I feel like I'm running out of time, I want to get to know them. I want to shake their hands and tell them, 'I'm your grand daughter. Please make doa for me'. I want them to know that I really appreciate them even though we never had a real conversation. This is actually one thing that abah always emphasized before, respecting the elders. I always saw him treating them with love, care and 'barakah'. (I really do miss him. Sob sob). I really wish that selagi mana saya hidup, I will remember everything that abah and emak taught me, insyaAllah.
Raya is such a beautiful blessing. And Ramadhan too. Ramadhan is more personal, like you ask forgiveness from God, trying to 'clean' ourselves from the bad thoughts and evil; whereas, Syawal is special month where you have the ticket to visit people for 30 days. You ask forgiveness from people around you, as if this will be a new beginning. I'm just glad that through thick and thin, I am able to sit down and write it all here in this blog. Expressing my thought, my gratefulness to Allah (and hopefully, you'll do the same) and sharing with people my meaning of raya. I'm just glad that I've finally reached this stage at the age of 23, hehe. Thank You Allah, for everything. Everything. Everything.
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