Tolerate

I believe that life is not only about me. So, I tried to take the people around me into consideration. Some people say I'm too nice, some people say I'm selfless, some people say I'm too kind-hearted.

The truth is I'm a selfish person. I have my own goal and wish. I always dream of my own space and dimension. But I found it very devastating to say no to people. I don't like to break people's heart. I always want to see the smile of my mom, sisters, family and people around me. 

Then, I tried to flip few pages back and noticed I did break people's heart. Most of the time I preferred to prioritize my family more than anything else in this world. 

But, as I attempted to mend the broken pieces, I realized that I have more important matter to think about. And as time passed by, people also tend to break my heart. I felt sad, of course, but life must go on.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how many times I've broken other people's heart and how many times I was heartbroken. What's more important is the ability to being flexible and tolerating their downsides. 

I slowly picked up how to become a patient person. I learned a lot about patience but sometimes, I lost it too. These days, this one particular line from 'Barney's Version' always came to mind. Something like when you're cheating like this, it means you're tired. Maybe I'm tired. 

I read this the other day. Every one that you meet will hurt you. At the end of the day, you want to choose someone worth to suffer. Someone worth fighting for. 

I had a conversation with Kumar yesterday and he said something that really made me thinking. It goes like this. Choose someone that makes your life easier. At this age, you won't date someone for a long time before you get married. So, you don't have time to change yourself or the other person (alamak, x ingt details pulak). Anyway, I think I got what he was trying to tell me. Marry someone that I can tolerate and can tolerate me. 

I think that's all for today. I've had enough.