Let's take the long way home.

Finally done with "Let's Take the Long Way Home" by Gail Caldwell yesterday. A memoir written for her best friend, Caroline Knapp, who died after struggling with cancer. She was young and this disease is always brutal. This book touches my heart in so many different ways. Losing someone that I love and most importantly, the grief.

There's no way I could summarize this great friendship, every little detail of their memories is so meaningful and precious. I'll list down some beautiful quotes from this memoir.


"Oh no," I said, half laughing but with tears in my eyes. "What is it?" she asked, concerned, and I said, "I need you".
"The metaphor of rowing may have been what we loved the most: the anticipation, the muscles spent and miles logged, the September harvest moon. Because we both possessed that single trait that makes a lifelong rower-endurance- we declared that we would row the Head together in our seventies, when the field had thinned sufficiently to give us a fighting chance".
"It's taken years for me to understand that dying doesn't end the story; it transforms it".


My father passed away almost three years ago. He's gone but Alhamdulillah, his spirit is always with me. I praise Allah for the nth time for sending me someone great like him. Reading this memoir is like travelling through my past.I saw myself crying for this loss, I saw myself desperate for him to pat my head and say, "Study hard". I could still hear his voice so precisely, saying all those advises (some of which I've forgotten). It's amazing how human interaction could be preserved in our heart, in our memories, and they just stay there for the rest of our lives, insyaAllah. I miss him, that's all I can say.

But then, after reading half way through this book, another important question came to mind. Do I have someone significant like Caroline in my life? I have friends, of course, but I could not recall anyone special that I could label as my 'Caroline'. I have sisters, but friendship and sisterhood are two different aspects of life. Sisters are always a priority, but friends are important as well. My father had best friend, my mom too, and I think all my sisters have special friends in their lives.

Both Caroline and Gail are writers, so in Caroline's Pack of Two, she wrote, "For my dearest Gail, with more love and gratitude than I have words to express. Your presence- in the world, in the woods, in this book,- has altered the very texture of my life. Here's to all we have shared, and to many more years, many more miles with our beautiful girls". Their friendship is so different. I didn't think I could describe someone like Caroline did (or maybe I could?).

See, I'm still young, and I have a lot more coming in the future, but honestly, after reading this book, I want a matured friendship. Someone who I could love and share my thoughts, my pasts, my presents with. Someone who I could listen to and fight with. Someone who wants to be my rival but at the same time, coach and turn my flaws into my own strength. I don't think it's too late to look for that special friend since both Gail and Caroline met when they were 30+ =D. Rasulullah also had best friends, so why can't I?

Cheers to every friendship on Earth.