life is too short

I've been talking a lot about 'life' these days, too much, eh? Oh well, it's never enough, I suppose.

You know what's the scariest thing? It's when you finally find your true goal in this beautiful life because at that point, you might have to stop whatever you're doing, you might have to re-plan everything again and perhaps, you would break the heart of your beloved ones. Above all, you need COURAGE to dream (oh, this reminds me of 'Sang Pemimpi').

Almost two years ago, I read 'The Alchemist' by Paulo Coelho, I slowly understood the whole idea of life, the journey, dreams and belief. When I first learned science, I immediately fell in love with that gorgeous man. It's a world with precision and everything is definite. I was so immersed with the love of science and science is beautiful. It's the answer for everything and I thought I could live with that.

But then, as you experience life, hey, everything is not about science. It's not about my brain, it's not about my qualification, it's about life itself. My life is about me, actually. "Bagiku pekerjaanku dan bagimu pekerjaanmu. Kamu tidak bertanggungjawab terhadap apa yang aku kerjakan dan aku pun tidak bertanggungjawab terhadap apa yang kamu kerjakan" (10:41) I love learning, and personally, science is my ecstasy. And honestly, I've been living my life, and I've survived the past 15 years by being a student. 

I'm not saying all these because I want to give up. NO NO. I love my life as it is now. Alhamdulillah. It is a great blessing to be able to learn science and to think like a scientist. To be able to discover a world without limit, science helps me a lot in order to think out of the box. I love science and for the rest of my life, insyaAllah I will continue to love science. Science helps me to know Him better and I am so addicted to Geology now. It's amazing how you deal with all these rocks and minerals, the mountains, the volcanoes, the oceans, and the whole universe. SubhanAllah. It is beyond amazing and this Earth that we're living in, is so full with all His secrets. 

Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the EARTH and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for those of understanding. Who remember Allah while standing or sitting or [lying] on their sides and give thought to the creation of the heavens and the EARTH, [saying], "Our Lord, You did not create this aimlessly; exalted are You [above such a thing]; then protect us from the punishment of the Fire (3:190-191). 

To be honest, without science, how could I survive in this competitive world? I need science to become 'someone', but to become a human being, I'm still looking for that something :) Of course, Allah alone is sufficient for me, but, as his Servant, I need to always find ways to get closer to Him. We're excessively being sucked into the world of... I could not explain this, but I think people are too attracted/attached to the need of the world itself, but not to our spiritual needs. MAYBE. =D

(If someone claimed that s/he lives for other people, I think that's more like a responsibility. I have responsibilities towards mak abah, family, friends, Petronas, community. Even so, I don't live my life for them, but I try to fulfill the responsibilities because I want to become a better person, in the eyes of  Allah. I think.)